BiblicalInsights.net

Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman who love each other and who meet the biblical and legal requirements to be joined together as husband and wife.  This relationship is dependent upon love and trust.  Trust in marriage means to place confidence in another person’s character, ability, strength, or words.  Trust is tied to virtue.  “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12).  Virtue is moral excellence.  Whenever a person is morally pure and upright, then, others can trust in them.  They will speak the truth.  They will uphold righteous conduct and follow it.  Whenever, there are trust issues in marriage, virtue is missing in one or the other partner or both.
The Lack of Trust
There are various causes of a lack of trust.  Infidelity, lying, keeping secrets, and narcissistic abuse are among the common acts that demonstrate a lack of moral excellence and produce trust issues.  Each of these immoral acts violate the law of love.  Love is the highest moral virtue (I Cor. 13).  Authentic love produces virtue and forms the foundation of trust.  Paul reveals sixteen aspects of this love in I Cor. 13:4-8.  Love is:  long-suffering, kind, envieth not, vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seekest not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believest all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things, and never fails.  Consider the many facets of love revealed by Paul and apply these to the constituency of a solid foundation for trust.
Trust in Marriage
Trust provides a basis for the feelings of safety and security in marriage.  It is the basis of faithfulness, loyalty and commitment.  It makes one trustworthy, reliable, and dependable.  It produces honesty, intimacy and oneness. It produces a strong relationship that will endure the temptations and trials of life.
Rebuilding Trust in Marriage
Where there has been a breach of trust in marriage, there must be a rebuilding of character and specifically, virtue.  The pathway to oneness involves: confession of wrong doing, godly sorrow, repentance, forgiveness, reform, renewal, and recommissioning.  These steps involve a process that is executed over time and healing is facilitated when each step is taken seriously and the whole is accomplished.  Other valuable aspects of recovery involve:  listening to the other person with the intent to understand, empathy, taking responsibility for one’s own actions, and asking what is needed to heal and prevent recurrence.
No relationship is safe and secure without trust!  The highest virtue of the human heart is love and without pure, fervent, love there can be no trust because trust is dependent upon the virtues of the heart.