BiblicalInsights.net

     James Dobson cites Dr. Joseph Procaccini and Mark Kiefaber on the topic of parental burnout in his book, Parenting Isn’t For Cowards.  Procaccini and Kiefaber identify five progressive steps of parental burnout.  They are:
     1.     “Gung-Ho” –stage one.  This stage is the new parent who determines to be “superparent.”  Everything focuses on the children.  Parents deny themselves in order to provide everything they think their children need and then some.  This parent is headed for burnout because he/she is expending more energy than is available to burn.  When parents fail to take time to rest and renew their energy levels, they are headed for burnout.
     2.     Stage two is “persistent doubts.”  At stage two, parents know something is wrong, but haven’t quite figured out what it is.  They are often drained and fatigued and wonder why they are tired all the time or depressed.
     3.     Stage three is called the transition stage.  This is a crucial point in the parenting process.  Parents either recognize the downward path they are on and make changes to reverse it, or they will continue their plunge toward chaos (p. 136).  Parents experience fatigue, self-condemnation, great anger, and resentment.  For the first time parents openly blame their kids for their discontent.
     4.     Stage four is identified as “pulling away.”  In this stage, the parent withdraws from the family and becomes unavailable to the children (p. 137).  Fantasies of “slinging the brat against the wall” or “bashing him good” may occur in this angry parent.  This is one step removed from physical abuse and is a dangerous point.
     5.     Stage five is called “chronic disenchantment.”  It is characterized by confusion and apathy.  The individual has lost all meaning and purpose in living.  Identity is blurred.  Serious problems are imminent.      
     Parenting is challenging.  Parents must learn to use the resources available to them in order to cope with the demands of parenting. Beginning September 5, I will be teaching a class on Biblical Principles for Practical Parenting at the Church of Christ, 5626 Groveport Rd., Groveport, Ohio.  You can access the church’s web page from this site.  Just click on Church of Christ under “Blogroll.”