Compulsive Sexuality
November 12, 2009 addictive behavior No Comments Patrick Carnes wrote, Out of the Shadows, a book designed to help identify and overcome sexual addiction. In this book, he gives the signs of compulsive sexuality which can be a helpful guide to diagnosing sexual addiction. The formula he gives is called SAFE.
1. It is a secret. Anything that cannot pass public scrutiny will create the shame of a double life.
2. It is abusive. It is abusive to self or others. Anything that is exploitive or harmful to others or degrades oneself will activate the addictive system.
3. It is used to avoid or is a source of painful feelings. If sexuality is used to altar moods or results in painful mood shifts, it is clearly part of the addictive process.
4. It is empty of a caring, committed relationship. Fundamental to the whole concept of addiction and recovery is the healthy dimension of human relationships. The addict runs a great risk by being sexual outside of a committed relationship.
Perhaps you can use the SAFE formula to help determine the danger of addiction in your life or the lives of others. (taken from Out of the Shadows, p. 189).