BiblicalInsights.net

     Patrick Carnes wrote, Out of the Shadows, a book designed to help identify and overcome sexual addiction.  In this book, he gives the signs of compulsive sexuality which can be a helpful guide to diagnosing sexual addiction.  The formula he gives is called SAFE. 
     1. It is a secret.  Anything that cannot pass public scrutiny will create the shame of a double life.
     2. It is abusive.  It is abusive to self or others.  Anything that is exploitive or harmful to others or degrades oneself will activate the addictive system.
     3. It is used to avoid or is a source of painful feelings.  If sexuality is used to altar moods or results in painful mood shifts, it is clearly part of the addictive process.
    4. It is empty of a caring, committed relationship.  Fundamental to the whole concept of addiction and recovery is the healthy dimension of human relationships.  The addict runs a great risk by being sexual outside of a committed relationship.
     Perhaps you can use the SAFE formula to help determine the danger of addiction in your life or the lives of others.  (taken from Out of the Shadows, p. 189).

     After several weeks, I am fulfilling a commitment to Marilyn Lancelot to publish a review of her book titled, Gripped By Gambling.  This book relates Marilyn’s personal journey with the experience of an addiction to gambling.  It was written by a woman for women (but men will benefit too).  She reveals the unbelievable costs associated with a gambling addiction.  She relates her feelings and emotions as she gets caught up in the excitement of gambling and then the destruction it brought to her life.  Many share her plight.  Many will relate.  We live in a culture of addiction.  Marilyn has been addicted to alcohol, food, drugs, and gambling.  She has broken free from these addictions and offers help and hope in her book.  The book does not focus primarily on her spiritual journey, though her belief in God was an important aspect of her recovery.  I would like to point each of you to the only true remedy for sin–the grace of God manifested through the cross of Jesus Christ.  Love, faith and obedience to God’s Will will secure true freedom from sin (John 3:36; 8:32; 14:15). You can read my review by going to the Book Review page on this site.

      Patrick Carnes in his book Don’t Call it Love identifies our present culture as a culture of addiction.  He states, “We live in a culture in which there are many addicts. Start with gambling, sex, food, and chemicals, take into account that many addicts have more than one addiction, then include all those affected by addicts, such as the 28 million adult children of alcoholics.  A recent estimate of all the addicts in our culture places addicts and those affected by addiction at over 131 million people.  When over half the population is involved with addiction, addictive norms become central to the cultural experience” (p. 77).
     Carnes identifies ten key components of our society that allow addictions to thrive.  They are:
     -Ours is a convenience-oriented society dedicated to removing obstacles to satisfaction.  Driven by the convenience ethic, the addict simply extends quick-fix logic to reducing anxiety.
     -Our culture emphasizes sophisticated technology and assumes that technology can resolve all problems.  The addict is looking for easy solutions that will “fix” his problems.
     -Our culture seeks entertainment and escapism rather than searching for meaning. The result is lack of meaning and essential purpose for life.
     -Our culture is experiencing massive paradigm shifts, which means that our view of the world is constantly changing.  This results in values confusion.
     -Our culture reels from disrupted family life.  Marriages are failing at very high rates.  Homes are disintegrating. The result is feelings of abandonment.
     -Our culture is experiencing loss of community.  The average American family moves every three years. Social networks are not built resulting in isolation a precondition of child abuse, battering and addiction.
     -Our culture is high stress.People live overextended, over-committed lives. The result is chronic anxiety.
     -Our culture is exploitive of others. The result is distrust and distrust feeds addiction.
     -Our culture essentially denies limitations.   Mental health and addiction problems thrive when there are no limits.  
     -Our culture is comprised of many addicts.  The result is addictive norms become central to the culture.    (Carnes, pp. 75-77).
     When you read this list, cold chills should go up and down your spine!  Have we moved so far away from God and true religion that we are destroying ourselves through addictive behaviors?  Gambling, alcoholic beverages, sexual addictions, unlawful drug abuse –all of which are sinful behaviors– have become the norm in American culture!  
     We need a renewal of faith in and commitment to God!